Welcome back, girlies ✨
Lately, I have been feeling very content in my life. I haven’t felt this sense of peace in a very long time. My journey of self-improvement over the years has gotten me to this point of calmness, but I noticed a little struggle I had been experiencing when it came to continuing harmony in my life. The term “ Doing it for the plot” has been in my vocabulary over the years, but I acted on it more last year than now. Based on the source of Andrews.edu [1], “Do it for the Plot” means
“To do something regardless of the potential for a negative outcome, viewing yourself as the main character in your life, acting to move the story along, no matter what happens. Should I take the risk or play it safe? “
*This term was created initially by TikToker Serena Kerrigan in 2021.
Based on this definition, this term can have positive intentions. It can positively influence an individual's life as it encourages people to live their lives unapologetically. As the “main characters” in our lives, we should make decisions that bring fulfillment into our daily lives. However, We can also use this term as an excuse to make decisions that are not healthy for us and our lives. I found that last year, I would use this term as an excuse to make self-sabotaging choices that set me back in my self-improvement journey. I remember one situation in which I knew it would not be healthy to get back in contact with specific individuals but that statement, “fuck it, let's do it for the plot!” took over, and let’s say it didn’t work in my favor.
Now, it’s essential to have a sense of self-awareness. As this term can have negative and positive intentions behind it, it’s great to reflect on whether this decision you're about to make will improve your life or hinder it. In our article, “Embracing the Unknown,” I mentioned some excellent tips on determining if something is good to pursue. The side of self-sabotaging that nobody talks about is when you KNOW something unhealthy, but you still want to do it because it will add drama to your life. I know you just read that like, “ Who tf wants to add drama to their life purposely?!” but hear me out.
Individuals who grew up in inevitable chaos, either from their upbringing, experiencing constant toxic connections, etc, these individuals are conscious or unconsciously comfortable with this lifestyle. This way of thinking can be conscious or unconscious; peace is abnormal to these individuals, so if they start making healthy choices to remove themselves from this lifestyle of chaos to a soft life, it might appear “Boring” to them. That sense of boredom can influence these individuals to start making self-sabotaging decision-making that can negatively impact their lives, relationships, etc.
One example: You return to dating after healing from your last toxic relationship. You are getting to know new people when, all of a sudden, you get a message from your ex. You know you and this ex have an adverse history together, and you know that communicating with them wouldn’t be the best decision to make. However, due to how “boring” your love life appears now, you might decide to reply to the message impulsively. Now you just started the toxic cycle with them again and messed up the opportunity to meet someone better because of boredom.
If you are thinking about “doing it for the plot,” weigh the pros and cons of pursuing this idea. Is this decision best for my highest good? Will this decision set me back physically, mentally, spiritually, or financially? Being fearful when experiencing new things/people is excellent, but ensure you understand yourself and your boundaries. It is so easy to mistake living in the moment with self-sabotaging. So make sure you are doing your self-reflection before anything you decide to do because that quick 5 minutes to think can genuinely save you days, months, and even years of obstacles.
Till next time, xoxo 💋 ✨
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